Monday, December 2, 2013

Journalists - My Arse.

JOURNALISTS - My Arse.

 
Tonight I listened to the radio equivalent of Looney Tunes cartoon pair Spike and Chester, a.k.a. Bolt and Price and as usual was left with a smouldering fuse.
 
Where do these two and the other lazy arsed media get off?  Their sanctimonious piffle insisting that the Prime Minister ought to make himself available to outline his daily activities and answer questions from various parts of the 'meeja'.
 
Bolt recognised that the Prime Minister rises at 4:30am and retires to bed at 11:00pm (or thereabouts), acknowledging that it was a long day and a crushing schedule.

Of course there was no consideration that wasting valuable time with talking heads answering inane questions that benefit no-one may well contribute to that load.

The place for answering questions is in the Parliament, hell, they even have time allocated for it and golly-gosh, they even have a name for it.  QUESTION TIME.  Well who woulda thunk it?

What we have here is something that has developed over many years. LAZY 'journalism' and 'cheap production values', i.e. the cost of making content for television, radio and newsprint.

Since when did we elect members of Actors Equity to show up and perform their party-piece?  Frankly, I only want to hear from our politicians when they have something IMPORTANT to announce.  The day-to-day proceedings of parliament are widely available to those who are interested and as for the others, let them have their 'tea' on their laps in front of soaps, game or reality shows!  Gawd spare me.

I don't give a fig for the 'opinions' of the ABC or SKY or any other unqualified talking hairpiece.  Nor am I interested in the opinions of opposition retards gobbing off meaningless mumbo-jumbo for the sake of a cheap show.

Our elected representatives have a huge task in front of them and I would prefer to let them go about their meaningful business rather than having interruptions caused by a bunch of no-hopers!

There are still some excellent journalists out there who actually REPORT on stories, e.g. Kate McClymont who spent endless hours at the hearings into Macdonald, Obeid, et al.  She noted, dissected and analysed the information, assembled the relevant facts, constructed the article and presented it for our consumption if we chose to read it.

These other crowds are simply lazy slobs who rely upon the sound-grab and their 15 seconds of fame on the doors in the morning.  Ask yourself, in the last 15 years, what devastating piece of information has been dropped by any politician at the doors in the morning?  Let me help you - NONE is the answer and yet day after day they roll up like Joh's chooks to be teased like a bunch of kids waiting for the Mr Whippy Van.

As I said - Journalists, My Arse.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Who you callin duBM

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman:
 What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant:
 Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman:
 No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you




BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston:
 Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant:
 Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston:
 There's a clue in the title.

Contestant:
 Leicester




BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White:
 Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:
 I don't know.

Stewart White:
 I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant:
 Arm

Stewart White:
 Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant:
 Strong.

Stewart White:
 Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant:
 Louis

Stewart White:
 Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant:
 Frank Sinatra?



LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )

Alex Trelinski:
 What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant:
 France

Trelinski:
 France is another country. Try again.

Contestant:
 Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski:
 Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant:
 Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski:
 Just guess a country then.

Contestant:
 Paris



                                     THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson:
 Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant:
 The Conservative Party.




BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

DJ Mark:
 For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis:
 I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?



UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoyne:
 What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant:
 Goosey?



GWR FM ( Bristol )

Presenter:
 What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?

Contestant:
 I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.



PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO -   MANCHESTER )

Phil:
 What's 11 squared?

Contestant:
 I don't know.

Phil:
 I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant:
 Is it five?



RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:
 Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant:
 Forrest Gump.



RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard:
 On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant:
 Er. .. ...

Richard:
 He makes bread . . ..

Contestant:
 Er . .....

Richard:
 He makes cakes . . ..

Contestant:
 Kipling Street ?



LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter:
 Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant:
 Barcelona

Presenter:
 I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant:
 I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain



NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Question:
 What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant:
 The Pacific.



ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

Presenter:
 Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo DA Vinci.

Contestant:
 Who Framed Roger Rabbit?



THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre:
 What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant:
 Magna Carta?



JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O'Brien:
 How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant:
 Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?




CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

Chris Searle:
 In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller:
 Japan

Chris Searle:
 I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller:
 Er ..... Mexico ?



PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

Paul Wappat:
 How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause):
 Fourteen days.



DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Daryl Denham:
 In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant:
 Holland ?

Daryl Denham:
 Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant:
 Iceland ? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully)
 It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant:
 No.



PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood:
 What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant:
 Er. ... ...

Phil Wood:
 It's got two syllables . . .. Kor . .

Contestant:
 Blimey?

Phil Wood:
 Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ....

Contestant:
 (Silence)

Phil Wood:
 OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . ..

Contestant:
 Walked?



THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes:
 What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant:
 Nostalgia.



LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter:
 What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant:
 Jewish.

Presenter:
 That's close enough.



STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright:
 Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant:
 Jesus.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Lessons Ignored


As some readers will know, I am a thoroughly true blue Australian.  I am a migrant from Scotland and every single day of my life I count my blessings for the opportunities that this Great Country has given me.  It should therefore come as no surprise when I say that I am sickened but moreso saddened when I see what is going on around the Country.

You see, dear reader, I have seen it all before.  Industry, manufacturing, engineering, stevedoring, transport, mining, construction all depleted and finally wiped out.  Wiped out by union greed and government incompetence on both sides of politics I might add.

Let me give you some insight into the future that awaits by visiting the past and telling you what I know to be true.

I grew up in Glasgow, Scotland, a City with a fierce reputation for hard working, hard drinking and hard fighting men.  A reputation well earned and well deserved but in many ways it overshadowed the great achievements that were achieved by Scots in general.

Initially a massive port City the envy of any in the world and based on the River Clyde.  The city was built by the tobacco lords, the spice lords and shipping magnates.  It became one of the richest cities in the world and great development followed.

It became the world hub for shipbuilding with shipyards crammed onto the Clydeside like sardines in a can with massive ships being built for a worldwide market. They built huge cargo ships, massive warships and luxury liners.  As a boy, I watched the QE2 funnel rising into the air as she reached completion.  With the wind coming from the right direction I could hear the constant hammering of rivet and caulking guns working through the night.

What was at the time the largest standing crane in the world, the Finnieston crane, was used to load massive steam locomotives onto ships destined for the USA, India and all parts of the world including Australia. Locally produced in Glasgow, these mighty machines continue to run to this very day.

Albion trucks were manufactured alongside the shipyards and were also exported worldwide. They also supplied the local market with trucks and buses.  There was a large car manufacturing industry in the Rootes Group.

Huge underground coalmines provided the black gold that kept industries powered and homes heated.  Large cotton mills produced fine fibres and then there was Britains largest export earner immediately before the discovery of North Sea oil, liquid gold called whisky.  Fine Scotch whisky exported to every corner of the globe providing rivers of income to the government in Whitehall.

Rolls Royce had a large engineering factory manufacturing engines for a variety of uses from shipping to aircraft.

All of these industries provided employment for thousands indeed hundreds of thousands of highly skilled tradesmen, apprentices and manual labourers.

What ensued was more than a tragedy, it was criminally negligent.

So what happened?  Unions happened.  There was an uprising by union leaders and organisers. Compulsory unionism.  No ticket, no start. Demarkation disputes. Wage claims, go-slow, overtime bans, strikes, walkouts. The whole box and dice.

Picture this.  You all know the unintelligible Scot, Doug Cameron, former union thug, bully and bovva boy and now an Australian Senator. You see how he behaves but imagine hundreds like him. Raving left-wing ratbags.

They infiltrated every industry in the country and made so many demands upon decent employers, that they simply surrendered and closed causing massive unemployment and social disaster.  Governments of the day interfered but could not stop the massive decline.  They tried to nationalise shipbuilding, mining and transport, but to no avail.

Closure after closure after closure thanks to the union mugs.  Scotland is now an industrial wasteland.  It’s a call centre.  A basket case with no hope of a return to its former glory.  So very very sad.

My desription is compressed into a few paragraphs but is an accurate precis of history as I saw it.  Any of it look familiar to you, dear reader?  Look around.  Look at closures and industries in trouble. Why?  Unions have priced indusries out of the market.

Of course there are other factors at work causing the decline in Australia.  The attitude that “I want it and I want it now” is killing us. Worse the attitude of some that “I deserve to have what they have” even though not qualified to earn the same.

As an aside.  The debate about Scotland’s independence. Now that the oil is drying up, there is no industry, there are no jobs and no prospects, Whitehall is now happy to divest itself of a dead weight.  Anytime Whitehall makes anyone an offer, it only benefits Whitehall.

Welcome to your future, Dear reader.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I NEED YOUR ADVICE!

Well.  I had a call from Miss 17 today about a car and I was left stunned!

When I buy a new car, I don't trade or sell the old one. Yes I  have to pay 5 registrations but the cars are mine. Not work utes or the like, personal vehicles paid for out of my own pocket. One of those cars is a BMW 318i that I bought new and has all the bells and whistles, full service history and has only done around 120,000 klms.

I thought it would be a nice pressie for Miss 17 when she obtained her drivers license.  It is a beautiful motor car, always garaged and in top nick.

Miss 17 calls me today and says she wants to buy a car and wait for it, could she trade-in my BMW?

Now she is still at school, has no funds to buy a car and is unlikely to be able to afford one for some time.  I asked WHY she didn't want the Beemer to which she replied, it was too big and she wanted something smaller.

  • a) I will not pay for another car for her.
  • b) I will NOT be a guarantor for ANY loan
  • c) I am stunned that ANYONE would turn down such a gift!
I'm just gobsmacked to the extent that I am prepared to bring the car here and sell it to the highest bidder.

I don't think she's ungrateful - but to be honest, I think she bloody well is!

My answer to her was "UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CAN SHE TRADE MY CAR"

Help please by leaving a reply, anonymous or otherwise.  When I was a kid a fifty quid bomb was as good as it gets!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Wailing on Whaling

Let me make it clear from the outset.  In an old-fashioned and myopic way, I have NO time for the Japanese as a nation or as a people.  They could slip into the ocean and I would care not one jot.  Yes, Like many, I lost members of my family in WW2 and of those who returned, their lives were ruined by the trauma of cruelty and starvation at the hands of their captors.  Unreasonable and some may say hysterical.  I cannot disagree, but I am what I am. And so to the point.

Whaling is not a nice business, nor is the slaughter of any animal.  As I recall, my last blog concerned the inhumane slaughter of cattle in Indonesia.

We here in Australia enjoy the bounties of the land and our oceans in accordance with out national traditions and diet.  We slaughter cattle, sheep, pigs, chickens in the millions.  In India, the cow is sacred but I don't hear them demanding that we cease the slaughter and cosumption of beef.  Likewise, other countries don't eat pigmeat as it is considered unclean, but I don't hear then telling us to cease the slaughter and consumption of pigs.

Millions of other species are eaten all around the world.  Dogs, cruelly beaten to death in Korea, cooked and eaten.  Some asian dishes require fish to be plunged into boiling oil while still alive.  Other creatures of the sea are cooked alive.  Lobster, Crayfish, Crabs and even our own humble yabby.

But Japan aren't the only ones whaling.  Norway and Iceland are enthusiastic whalers and openly admit they do so for food, unlike Japan who hide behind the skirts of scientific research.  We all know that's bullshit anyway.

A terrific article can be read thanks to National Geographic here:

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/06/080627-japan-whaling.html

The closing paragraph quotes Claire Bass, of the WSPA, who conceded that cultural differences do colour the debate.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Economics in the Euro Zone.

Thought you might appreciate a quick overview of economics in the Euro Zone.

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece. The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor he wondered how he could afford such a house. The Spaniard said; "You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to build a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this house could be built".

The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek Mayor's house, gold taps, marble floors, it was marvellous. When he asked how this could be afforded the Greek said; "You see that bridge over there?" The Spaniard replied; "No."

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Mark my words.

Hello again dear friends and even those who aren't.

Someone once said "It's like De Ja Vu all over again"

Here's the way I see it.  This government is chock full of incompetent career union hacks who have never held down a job that produced or manufactured or contributed to the economy in any way, shape or form.  They have always been takers.  Takers reliant opon the sweat of the brow, strength of the backs or intellectual capacity of those who work and EARN a living, eke out a livelihood in order to provide for themselves and their families.

These union hacks who are supposed to represent the workers do so with their snouts not only in the public trough but are feted by airlines, hotels, sporting organisations and sundry others who lavish them with freebies.  Just check here for the declarations:  http://www.openaustralia.org/

What they need now is a patsy, someone to "take the fall"  someone who will be willing to "take one for the team" and here's the way it will go.

An industrial dispute will come to a head - my pick is back to the waterfront given that Saint Corrigan and Saint Reith lubed them up, bent them over and boofed them like Bob Brown at an after mardi gras party at Greens HQ!

A set-up is in the making where liebor intends to come out smelling like the roses growing from its own shit.  Whether or not section 431 of the GilLIARd act will be invoked is questionable, but be sure my dear reader, that if it is, it will be done with the certainty that any legal challenge will fail.

A setup - no more, no less.  That is the way that these fools will attempt to justify their outrageous incompetence - by setting up a patsy.  It could easily have been boofhead Sheldon, but no, he is destined for higher office.

There will be a sweetheart deal done with someone to show that these liebor halfwits are prepared to stand up to unions and take it all the way to ending a mickey mouse dispute with the fair work legislation.

Well we are not fools and will not be fooled and if this small piece in the cyberspace of the internet universe makes a skerrick of difference and is a wake-up to just a few, then I'll be a happy chappy.

Never in the history of this wonderful country have we been so poorly led and represented by a government that wouldn't know its arse from its elbow.  Fair dinkum, WE DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!